Oh boys, boys, boys

So I recently stopped talking to this cat that I was very much in like with. At least I thought it was a like situation... I guess I should give a back story. I was in Manchester, London in May and a close family friend offered to set me up with a guy. Well I wasn't really keen on the idea, so I said no. I got back home and my friend was still harping on the idea. Finally, I said it would be fine to give the dude my number. Well lo and behold, this guy calls like within 2 minutes. It was crazy, and totally caught me off guard. I mean, who is this guy? Where did he come from? What does he do? He lives all the way out there, how would this work? So after driving myself crazy with all the questions that was really to soon to ask, I finally call him back. We talked for a little over an hour! Over an hour! I was not expecting that. Here was this seemingly normal, funny, outgoing, smart, guy that was really eager to get to know me and I was actually excited about it. (This was not normal for me) I struggle with not being in control of situations and people... Anyway, I let all that go and decided to let some guards down. We talked about life, our likes and dislikes, the future, our families, politics, and everything in between. We started to talk all the time and he began to seem more and more perfect. He wasn't the perfect person by any means, but he just seemed to fit for me. I liked that he was such a gadget geek, I liked that he had this akward way of saying things, I liked that he was a work-a-holic, but made time to talk to me, he was perfect for me. I had a trip to London planned for my brother-in-law's mom's birthday (yes, I travel quite a bit), so I decided to stop by Manchester and spend some time with my new found perfect. I told him about the trip and he seemed eager to see me. He took time off work and tried to communicate what we could do while I was out there. I tried to purchase my ticket one night, and got really anxious about seeing him and being there, and maybe I was taking this too far. I kept asking myself, "what if it goes to shit?" I shared my anxiety with him, and he was very encouraging in his special way, and said, "Just buy the ticket". So I did. The planning was so anxiety ridden. What if he doesn't think I'm pretty in person? What if we don't have any chemistry? What if his family is crazy? So many things were going through my head, that the only way I knew to not turn bat shit crazy was to control something. So I did. I went on an extreme diet. Lost alot of weight, so I at least felt comfortable with my body. The day finally came that I would be leaving. All my close girl friends were excited for me because they realized I hadn't been this excited about anyone in a long time. So I get on this long ass flight that has 2 stops. (Trust me I will never do that again, next international flight is non- stop!) I finally get there and my friend picks me up from the airport. On our way there, I can feel my anxiety level rising. I am so nervous. It's like the first day of school where you hope the other kids like you and your outfit! My friend can obviously tell I'm off, so he asks me if I'm ok. Of course, like the boss that I am, I say, "Of course". (So full of shit!) He then turns to me and says, "Oh so you're not nervous about the limp?" I stare at him for a second and ask, "The limp? What limp?" We go back and forth, and the conclusion is that this cat has a limp when he walks and has a disabled sign for his car. I honestly can say, it didn't really bother me because I really liked him, so I was just upset he hadn't told me before this. We had talked countless times in the last 3 months for goodness sake! We finally get to the house and I'm more nervous than I was before I landed. Finally, I hear the door bell and I know it's him. I jump up and my excitement for seeing him and being around him completely took over my anxiety. I open the door and I jump on him and hug him. I told him how excited I was to see him and he said the same. He came up the stairs and I watched his legs closely. He definitely had a limp, but I really didn't care, I was just so happy to see him. We hang out for a little bit and decide to go to his place. We get to the bottom of the stairs and he turns to me laughing and says, "There is nothing wrong with my leg". What a jerk! He and my friend decided it would be funny to play this joke on me. Like they actually planned this shit! What idiots. Anywho, we get alone and we totally vibe! Like really vibe! It's great. I was there for 6 days and we were like a real couple for that time. I met his mom, his brother, and his church family. They all loved me, or so I thought. Anyway, so of course we are very lovey dovey the entire time. The second to the last night I was there, we were getting hot and heavy in his room, and I stop him and ask, "So, what are we doing exactly?" He stares at me like I just spoke in another language. I simply wanted to see where we were. Were we going to be exclusive or keep it open? He skirted the issue and promised to talk about it the next day. Well of course my neurotic behavior kicks in and I can't sleep cause I keep questioning why he wouldn't talk about it. I had such high, unrealistic expectations of us just falling in love and being whisked off my feet. Wow, that died quickly. Next day we go out to have the talk, and he informs me that he doesn't think he can do the long distance thing. Really dude! You can't do the long distance thing you have been doing for the past 3 months?! WTF? And so my dreams came tumbling down! Oh boys!