I have this love/hate relationship with social media. I enjoy knowing what people are up especially since I don't get out much these days, but absolutely end up despising myself for becoming so envious of all the folks that are in shaping and flaunting it.
I mean I can't really hate on them. I would flaunt my body too if it was on point. I would have those crop tops on dressing like I was in my mid twenties still. God knows I miss it. I use to be the pretty one. I was Kim in our family of black Kardashians. Now I'm the un-named fat cousin that randomly shows up and looks like she is there strictly to be seen, even if for just a moment. I realize I sound shallow and honestly in this moment, I don't care for your judgement. I just miss the old me! I have tons of clothes in my closet that I don't fit into any more, but I refuse to give up. I can't give up hope that I can have the discipline to get my body back in shape.
See the key word is discipline. I see these people, who seem to have transformed who they are, and all I can think is "Wow! That took a lot of discipline." I feel like I had more drive when I was younger, but obviously life happens. Which is the problem. I will not let "life" happen to me. It's just not the way it's supposed to be.
So my plan is to get up and go. I am sharing this in order to keep myself accountable. I will keep track of my progress on here and make sure there is progress to write about. I think I will try to eat well and follow a paleo diet and workout on a daily basis. I think the combination of taebo, 30 day squat challenge, 30 day ab challenge, and some 30 day shred. Whatever gets me to where I need to be! I'm going to work on becoming my inner Beyonce.
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